


Interlude

by Nightalp



Series: Sometimes when we touch [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-09 15:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16452779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightalp/pseuds/Nightalp
Summary: Anthony returned to Midgard.He leaves behind a family on Jotunheimr, a destroyed hallway - and an injured king/lover.Loki's POV after the confrontation in the hallway of Linnakoti





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I know, it's been like one and a half years since I posted Stranded on Ice and this isn't exactly the Sequel I promised (I'm still working on it ^^') but when I wrote SoI I wanted to write the Sequel from Loki's POV.   
> Which worked beautifully - for the first two chapters.   
> So now the Sequel is from Tony's POV and I was left with two chapters from Loki's POV that I love too much to delete. Which is why I'm posting them here.
> 
> So, if you want to know what happened to Loki after Tony left ...

Loki came back to himself to a youngling’s agitated calls and a hand shaking him rather ungently at the shoulder.

Narrowing his eyes at the breach of protocol – maybe he didn’t always insist on it but that was his prerogative as High King - he was about to send the pushy young warrior the icy look his action deserved when the rest of his brain came back online, too, and he suddenly realized -

He lay on the floor. In a rather undignified manner, too, a heap of flesh and bones against the walls of a outlying hallway.

A _battered_ outlying hallway.

Staring at the remains of the mosaic in the wall opposite him, uncomprehending, he became aware of the ringing in his ears that drowned out most of what the guard said.

Lifting his hand to his head in the unconscious drive to check what was wrong with him he could just make out some of the words the guard said.

* ... an attack? We thou- ... prince Byleistr went ... -dn't find ...*

Loki blinked, his mind still struggling to _think_. An attack? Who would attack their planet, let alone the palace? Shaking his head he tried to clear his thoughts of the old ice sticking there, only to realize - too late - that this wasn't exactly the smartest move when his stomach started to roll ominously. Swallowing fast he tried to keep his last meal in, his eyes closing again in the effort. His hands balled to fists in his lap while he tried to get control of himself.

The guard, too agitated to notice, went on. * ... damn aesir! Sorry, my ki-*

That sparked a memory in Loki's mind, albeit a confusing one. Hela, accompanied by a runner who looked like he _had_ actually run through the whole palace to reach him, storming into his meeting. The envoy from Mustajaa had jumped up at their entrance, too young yet to hide his emotions as the emissaries from Kuuma and Tulivu had, but Loki had barely even noticed it. Not when the runner had stumbled up to him, a ikuin in his hands and offered it to him on knees that were bend more from exhaustion than respect.

There wasn't much Tehere would think important enough to ruin a messenger over, or that was too sensitive to be send directly to his levy – was too sensitive to be entrusted to anything but a storage crystal that couldn’t be rewritten.

The impact of the Bifrøst on Jotunheimr was.

Blinking he remembered ...

... the white vastness of the Red Plane, dotted here and there with the first cheeky buds of the scarlet Liroko that had given the plane its name.

Arriving with a dozen of his warriors at his back - not even he could hold a portal open for more warriors on this short notice, and he trusted himself to be capable of killing any aesir who even thought about invading their planet - he had been taken aback by finding only one aes waiting for them.

Only one, but one he knew all too well. It had taken him more will power than he had thought to possess to not immediately strike Prince Thor down when he recognized his blond haired shape, or the hammer at his side.

The hammer that had smashed his father's ribs in and forced him to take the throne far too early.

The guards he had chosen to accompany him were far too well trained to show their emotions, but he could still see their thirst for blood in how they stepped forward until the two most senior lined up with him on either side and the way hands stroked over the handles of axes, and the almost fleeting touch for what Loki knew hid their more advanced weapons.

Thor seemed equally startled to see them - see _him_ \- if the sudden step back he took upon their appearance and the way his eyes stuck to Loki's form were any indicators. It reminded Loki that most aesir had never seen a jotun mage, maybe didn't even believe that they existed.

*Aesir are not welcome on Jotunheimr*, he said, and he couldn't help the way his voice came out as a hiss, or how he had to clench his fingers tightly to keep from attacking the arrogant, spoiled, egoistic, violent _aes_ outright, knowing too well that Odin would retaliate and while he would refuse to hold back like his father had done he had just enough sanity left to know that for his people, even a war won could prove disastrous. *And you even less.*

He wasn't sure what he had expected as reaction to his words - his _challenge_ , he knew, but between his father's death and what the aesir had done to his planet there simply wasn't any way for him to stay as calm as he usually was.

It certainly wasn't Thor taking a deep breath that widened his chest in a way that might have been attractive in any other circumstance, before deliberately lowering his head in a way that he hadn't done with Laufey before. Deep enough to satisfy custom, certainly - even deeper than necessary, actually, for a prince of a foreign realm.

Shocked, Loki didn't know what to do. The startled silence from his warriors told him that they, too, hadn't ever expected to see this - an aes lowering his head in front of a jotun king of their own will - and he took a little comfort in knowing that it wasn't just his hatred making him blind that had left him this blind-sided.

When Thor finally answered Loki could feel the little ripples in the air that the aesir's Allspeak caused. *I greet thee, king of Jotunheimr*, he said and Loki blinked at the formal speech, and the forced courtesy in his voice. As long as he had been alive, no aes had ever offered this much respect to any jotun, be they servant or king. *I know you have little reason - no reason - to trust me but I am not here to ... I am not here to cause harm. I am just here ... I am just here in search for a friend of mine that got lost between the stars, and as I have searched every other part along Yggdrasil I thought he might have stranded here.*

That at least Loki knew how to answer. Not even pretending to keep his snort contained he spit out: *If ever an aes had set a foot upon this planet, what makes you think that they would survive the experience?*

A tremble ran over Thor that looked definitely violent and Loki braced himself for the outburst but it never came. Instead he took another deep breath and nodded, as if confirming something for himself, before he said: *I am not searching for an aes. The friend I am searching for is of Earth - Midgard - and no danger to Jotunheimr. Tony Stark.*

Loki had heard of Tony Stark - he had walked the universe many times and earth with all its chaos and youthful tumbles and fun held a special place in his heart, and it was hard to not know of one of their greatest inventors and playboys when every second magazine seemed to have a story about him.

Yet he wasn't thinking of that now. Not of the stories of Tony Stark, earth's richest bachelor. Nor of Iron Man, comrade in arms of Thor, God of Thunder.

No, what he was thinking of was Anthony Edward, the man who he had always known lied about his name in some way. Who liked fun and jokes and needed to use his brain like he needed air. Who laughed with Loki and sometimes looked at him with a sadness in his eyes as if he knew he was going to lose him.

The man Loki had fallen for in a way he had never known before.

The same man Thor called friend and came to Jotunheimr to search for.

For once Loki was grateful that his guards were unsettled already. At least it meant Thor wouldn't notice the ruckus this announcement had caused.

Because everyone knew that Loki considered Anthony a friend. Maybe more than a friend.

He felt ...he didn't know what he felt. When he was younger, he had once fallen down a crack in the ice. Still too inexperienced with his magic and ice powers, and too small and weak to climb out of it on his own, he had sat there for hours. Jotnar didn't feel the cold but he'd heard it compared to loneliness too often since then and he had felt lonely there in his hole - lonely and forgotten and helpless and scared because no-one knew where he was and they wouldn't find him and he would die here alone, halfway down a crack that was to be his grave.

They had found him eventually, crying and half out of his mind with fear, but he had never forgotten how he had felt then.

Had never felt anything like it again.

Never, except for now.

He couldn't show this to Thor. Couldn't show him the weakness, the pain, the longing, couldn't show him the abyss that he had just opened up beneath his feet, the way his heart had just been cracked open.

Couldn't show him the hope that he was wrong, that, somehow, two humans had gotten lost in the vastness of the universe at the same time.

His face the cold mask that he showed his council when they got onto his nerves or the emissaries from other realms that thought they could pull one over the barbarians from the ice planet he looked Thor straight in the eye and said: *There are no Midgardians going by Tony Stark on this planet.*

And Thor, bless his dumb mind, misunderstood him exactly as he'd anticipated.

Crumbling before them like a puppet who's strings had been cut Loki almost felt pity for him. Especially when he bowed again, in thanks, and said: "In this case I will take my leave. Please, take my thanks for taking the time to speak with me."

He didn't wait for Loki to give him leave but to be honest, he wasn't sure he would have been capable of responding properly anyway. Not when his mind was a maelstrom of thoughts and questions already, circling around _Anthony_ and _Tony Stark_ and what it meant that he had lied to him.

Staring at the mark the Bifrøst had left on the snow Loki felt something harden in him. If Anthony had lied - _if he had betrayed him_ \- then he would have found out about Thor by now. And that meant ...

*Stay here*, he ordered, unwilling - unable - to deal with anyone else watching if what he feared was true. Tahjme stepped forwards, quite obviously in protest - but Loki had already opened the portal and no-one was dumb enough to try and follow through a portal that might not stay open long enough to allow them to step through unharmed.

He still wasn't sure what to think when the bond he had with Anthony - the bond that came from his magic keeping him safe from the cold and had morphed into more when his magic had taken a liking to the human - lead him into a remote hallway.

There were no other jotnar around and no matter how much he wanted to trust Anthony …

And yet he still did, still _wanted_ to, when he walked down the hallway to the closed and opaque door his magic sense told him Anthony was behind.

Still wanted to and yet couldn't anymore when the door opened to let Anthony step out.

He had taken off the jewelry given to him as part of the palace' perhe. Had taken off the little spiral that was all Loki had ever dared to gift him. Had changed his clothes from the practical servant's uniform to the strange undersuit he'd come in.

And his face said that he knew exactly why Loki was here.

He had closed the door behind him again but that didn't matter. Now that he knew to listen for it he could hear the low hum of a portal opening by non-magical means, could feel the energy of an ARC reactor powering up.

Anthony must have been planning to run for a while now, hiding his intentions behind a smile and flirting and a hint of feelings that Loki had to have dreamed himself into a castle of air.

Feeling his heart grow cold and hard in his chest he could almost see himself shut down, wearing the blank, arrogant mask that he greeted foreign ambassadors with. It was a neon sign that he'd been hurt and he knew that Anthony wouldn't miss it, but it was better than actually showing his pain.

Slowly walking down the hallway he said: *So he was telling the truth for once*, hoping against all evidence that this had another reason, that Anthony wasn't -

Yet the way Anthony's face shuttered told him that his hope was in vain. *Would it help if I said that I was sorry?*, he asked and Loki shouldn't still feel his heart clench at the obvious pain in his voice. At the way his face was still so open, still showed his every emotion - his every feeling that he wanted Loki to think he had.

Love, pain, sorrow. Loss.

But not enough loss to stay, not enough sorrow to tell him _I am sorry_ and know that Loki would hear the truth in it.

His eyes were still so very very brown, so beautiful and unusual in a world of ice that even Loki couldn't help but think them beautiful, so matter how many other brown eyes he had seen.

But it wasn't the color that made them beautiful, wasn't it? It was their expression, the curious and driven and emotional and funny and loveable human that looked through them that made them into unique treasures and Loki didn't want to stop looking at them, wanted to burn them into his memory because he knew that after this, he would never see them again.

There were no prisoners on Jotunheimr, and a betrayal - a security risk - like this would have to result in death.

Taking a last deep breath to keep his emotions from swallowing him whole he offered Anthony the last answer he ever thought to give him: *No.*

What followed was ... not clear. He knew he had attacked Anthony, full of anger and hurt, adamant in stopping the other and yet still strangely unable to kill him.

Calling his ice would have killed him. Removing the magic that kept him alive in Jotunheimr's coldness would have killed him. Using his magic could kill him. At one point he even remembered calling his spear and having a clear opening to kill Anthony with it, yet only using it to get Anthony off his feet.

Remembered standing over him and seeing his lips form words that he didn't have the breath to voice - “I’m sorry; I forgive you” - and suddenly he couldn't harm him anymore. Could feel everything in him rebel at killing one of the few people he had ever truly loved, one the few indulgences his duty as king of his people allowed him. So instead of bringing the spear down again he had turned away to destroy the portal Anthony had thought to escape with.

He should have brought one of his warriors with him - their duty to protect him and Jotunheimr would have made it impossible for Anthony to get into his back and shoot him from the back with his gauntlet.

At least that was what Loki assumed had happened. All he remembered was a loud noise, followed by a sudden force into his spine and then - nothing.

He'd had Anthony show him how to use the gauntlet of his suit, fascinated by the power and capacity for destruction turned into something as benign as flight stabilizers. It had been impressive, especially for a human, to wield this much raw strength. Maybe it had been his fascination that had led to him forgetting that it could be a weapon in hands that knew how to wield it - _Tony's_ hands - or maybe he had just been too furious and blinded by rage, yet he was pretty sure that this was what had happened ...

Opening his eyes again he raised his hand, grateful when it made the guard stop his anxious babbling. A second, more thorough look showed him that the guard was little more than a boy, barely old enough to earn a warrior's kilt, which at least explained his nervousness. Even more experienced guards would have been shaken by an explosion in the palace, followed by finding their king lying prone on the floor, so he couldn't really fault the little one for not knowing what to do.

Especially when a look down the hallway revealed that they were alone, cementing the sudden realization that whatever had happened hadn't been that long ago.

Anthony hadn't left that long ago.

A quick look to the other side, the room his guest had hidden his portal in, showed him still glowing door frames where an explosion had destroyed the portal Anthony had left through. A small explosion, not enough to actually destabilize the palace or even cause more than superficial damage to the room it had occurred in, just enough to deter anyone from coming right after him.

Not that that would keep Anthony hidden for long. Loki knew the name Tony Stark well enough, and he doubted that the five years he hadn't been on earth had made it more difficult to find him there.

But first ... *Your name*, he demanded of the guard still hovering around him.

He jumped almost but recovered fast to answer. *Pieron, my king. Corporal in the Silver Guard.*

Meaning he had to have more potential than he was momentarily displaying or he would still be a part of the Blue Guard that secured the city instead of patrolling the palace. It was enough for Loki to make himself a note to look him up later; if he had been promoted like this already then he would surely one day be part of the White Guard that guarded the royal family.

But not today. *Pieron, did you just say that my brother has readied the army?* Byleistr didn't actually have the right to order them out without his say-so, but he was their general and they wouldn't question him, especially after the Bifrøst touched down on Jotunheimr.

*Er ... yes, my king. That is at least what I heard.*

Loki really wished he could just shake his brother sometimes. Since he obviously couldn't he took a deep breath to try and calm down, wincing when it caused something to sting in his chest, then ordered: *Pieron, you have to find Head Mage Helblindi for me. I assume he will be in the meeting rooms, though with what happened you may have to search for him.*

Pieron looked ready to bolt right then and Loki held his hand up again, stalling him. *Send the first person you meet to search for Jörmungandr and send him here. Send the next to get me a healer down here. Just as a precaution*, he added hastily when Pieron looked suddenly alarmed again. *I assume you can do that?*

*Yes, my king. At once.* And off he was, running to carry out Loki's orders.

Sighing Loki leaned against the wall again for a moment, allowing himself a moment of rest, before he pushed himself to his feet. It was slow going, with a lot of wobbles and thank Ymir for the wall he could grab to steady himself when he almost lost his balance, but finally he stood and, after another moment to make sure he wouldn't dive nose-first into the floor, he carefully made his way over to the room Anthony had kept the machine in.

The damage looked a lot less dramatic once he got a good look into the room. Sure, the portal was little more than a smoking ring of scrap metal, with the ARC reactor splintered into so much kide - or glass, rather; humans didn't have any access to higher forms of materials yet - and there was a dark stain covering a good circle around it, but most of the shelves along the walls were little more than singed, their contents protected by the simple spells to keep dust away, and when he took another step into the room he could see a small bundle on the far wall that turned out to be Anthony's uniform as well as the jewelry he had been gifted with by his perhe.

And by Loki.

Swallowing he stood there for a moment, at a loss for what to do, what to feel, when the sound of bare feet clattering behind him roused him from his stupor.

Frowning - neither Jörmundgandr nor Helblindi would run like this up to him, and he doubted a healer would, either - he stepped out of the room only to find himself looking at a rather anxious servant.

When the other saw him he slowed his approach and relief overtook his face before he bowed over his arm. *My king. Pieron send me to tell you that he has already send someone for Jörmundgandr as well as a healer*, he said by explanation, only to add: *He also seemed quite worried for you and thought it wise for someone to stay with you until the healer arrived.*

Well, that explained what his superiors saw in him. Apparently he was well capable of using his mind as long as he didn't have his king sitting in front of him, looking ready to pass out again.

Allowing a sigh to escape his lips he said: *As you see, I am quite well. Just please tell me that Pieron hasn't seen fit to tell everyone about how he found me.* It wouldn't do, after all, to frighten his entire court and, by the end of the hour, probably the entire planet over a dumb decision he was more than sure he would get berated for by his family and advisors very soon.

The servant shook his head. *He was quite adamant that no-one else should know about this.* A short pause in which he bit his lips, his eyes straying at the burned room, and Loki just knew what he would ask before he even opened his mouth: *Has there been an attack?*

And Loki had to keep himself from reacting to it, from showing how the question both hurt and made him feel like a fool. *No*, he answered curtly.

The servant nodded, then came slowly closer. *Pieron mentioned you had been hurt. Would you like to sit down?*

And Loki didn't but he wanted to worry the other even less, and the throbbing in his head had gotten worse, so he allowed himself to be led out of the room again and sat down at the stool the servant had retrieved from the storage room and put a few paces down the hallway for him.

Belated Loki realized he should have sent for Masin as well - Linnakoti's Head of Machines might make more of the portal than Loki could - but just in that moment fast steps came from the mouth of the hallway and then Jörmundgandr saw him and almost ran to his side.

*If it helps, I don't think I'm harmed that much*, he offered, only to have his friend and bodyguard glare at him with such intensity that he was sure he would have been frightened if he didn't know him better.

*That you are harmed at all is bad enough*, Jöra snarled and then whirled on the hapless servant who took a hasty step back. *Has a healer been called?*

*I am here already*, said a new voice from behind him and there was Kappia, all too familiar in his over-towering presence.

Suppressing another sigh Loki allowed himself to be checked over - he had called for a healer because he knew better than to not and let his people be anxious after all - while he told Jöra to order Byleistr back. At least the other had sense enough to know that Byleistr attacking Asgard was not a headache they wanted to face and vanished again after another dark glare, though the full squad of White Guards appearing at the mouth of the hallway only moments after Helblindi and Pieron spoke volumes about how happy he was to leave Loki's side.

At least Helblindi was more practical. Throwing one look at the destruction wrought in the hallway and another, even shorter one in the storage room, he asked: *Anthony?*

The gasps let loose by both the servant still hovering around him and Pieron made him realize that he didn't know if either of them was actually part of Anthony's perhe and that made him realize, for the first tine, that he hadn't been the only one abandoned - betrayed - by him.

He wasn't surprised when that didn't make him feel better.

Nodding he confirmed: *Apparently he build a portal back to Midgard and when Thor appeared and he realized that he would be found out, he used it.* Which made him wonder why Anthony hadn't gone earlier when his machine had already been completed and a tiny part of him wondered whether maybe Anthony had felt something for him.

Of course the bigger part of his brain remembered the glow of the ARC reactor while the machine powered up.

There were only two ARC reactors in Linnasenna – the small one in Anthony's chest that he needed to keep himself alive because the healers were still working on making sure that the techniques they would use to remove shrapnel from a jotun’s heart wouldn’t harm a human.

And the one in Loki's own lab, the one Anthony had built for him and that they were still playing around with.

It wasn't difficult to figure out what had happened: He'd invited Anthony in his home so often, had offered him the courtesies of a friend, if not a lover - had never, even in the beginning, treated Anthony as a prisoner. By this time, none of his personal guards would stop Anthony from visiting his rooms, whether he was there or not. Oh, he had no doubt they would inform him of Anthony's visit when he returned but keeping him out?

And he couldn't even blame them - up until now he wouldn't have had any misgivings about letting Anthony in his life either.

*Shall I call for the Salmurja?*, Helblindi offered and Loki realized that he'd been too caught up in his own personal drama to think about what should happen next.

He had kept Anthony on Jotunheimr because his knowledge of their technology could very easily become a threat to them. Or at the very least paint a target on the head of every single one of his people when before everyone had been more than happy to ignore them. Which in turn meant that now that he had returned to earth he must have forfeited his life.

Loki couldn't bear to think of a galaxy without Anthony in it.

*I want to speak to the agents we have on earth*, he said, tasting ash in his mouth.

Helblindi nodded, just as Kappia pronounced him mostly healthy, _though you should rest until your body has gotten over the shock._

Loki was sure he meant the physical one of having been caught in the explosion but he would be grateful nonetheless.

*What about the machine?*, Helblindi asked and Loki cursed himself again. It wasn't like him to forget the most basic things.

*Have it brought to Masin. He may figure out something useful about it.* They weren't lacking technology to build portals but he was curious to know how a human would go about it. Also ... *He left his clothing and his jewelry. Have it brought to his perhe. And then someone may clean and make sure to get rid of the traces.* The traces of Anthony, and he knew that he had let too much slip about his emotional state but right now he couldn't even care.

When Helblindi promised to supervise everything himself he was just too happy to let himself be carried off by his guard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's getting late but I said I would try to get the second chapter out this weekend and it's still Sunday for an hour so I guess that counts?  
> Anyway, here it is and I hope you'll like it (and don't end up killing me about the end ...)
> 
> Also, welcome to any new readers. Apparently there are some of you even though Interlude has a really shitty summary

Jotunheimr had currently three agents on earth Loki learned later when Kappia and Helblindi had deemed him healthy enough to start reigning again.

One was disguised as a lower official in some state on the Asian continent. Another was a secretary to some minister of foreign affairs. The last was an agent working for the very agency Tony Stark was known to work with and if that wasn't a big hint from the Great Void itself Loki was willing to suck Ymir's shrunken balls.

It took another hour for the spy to arrive which was at least an hour too long because by that time Loki had made it down into his lab, perversely thinking that the room he had spend so much time in with Anthony wouldn't make everything worse. Of course, entirely in line with the kind of luck he had to today, he had not only found himself freezing at the view of the suit and their many shared projects and Friday, overwhelmed by memories, but also gotten a special surprise in form of a recorded message that left him feeling like he'd gotten kicked in the guts by a particularly angry norzu.

Which was why he was seriously contemplating getting intoxicated, duty and responsibilities and dignity be damned, when Shen stepped into the room.

Like most of their spies Shen was a mage, even smaller than Loki himself, though a little older. His skin was so light it was almost white, sign of a origin from a tribe somewhere around a pole, while his hair was dyed in all the colors of the rainbow. He wore little jewelry - a necklace, a row of earrings and some metal scattered throughout his hair; more and the humans might get weirded out, Loki remembered. Yet he must have found the time to change into more appropriate clothing than his human disguise for he wore a black kilt trimmed with red and held up by a red-and-gold belt - the clothing that had become a kind of uniform for Jotunheimr spies even though they didn't actually _have_ an uniform. 

*My king*, he said and went down on his knees, though not without a very thorough glance through the room.

Loki didn't begrudge him that - he was trained to do that and could probably describe what was going on in Loki's lab from that one glance alone. If he'd wanted to keep anything in here hidden he wouldn't have allowed a spy in here, and if he couldn't trust him then he shouldn't send him out to spy for Jotunheimr either.

*Shen*, he acknowledged the other because he was doing dangerous work to keep Jotunheimr safe and it was the least Loki could do to show that he knew that, no matter how much his mind and heart were concerned with something completely different right now. Waving him to his feet he mustered him for a moment, then let his eyes wander to the levy housing their fledgeling AI.

*You know Tony Stark?*

If the question surprised Shen he didn't show it. *Not personally. I know what everyone knows about him - he's not exactly an hermit - but I have only met him twice, and both times under trying circumstances.*

That was more than he’d expected, honestly. Though … *Trying how?*

Shen blinked, but explained without question. *He was dying a few years ago from – I assume you know that he is a rather famous and rich Midgardian who owns of the most influential companies all over the world? Much of his wealth he inherited from his father, including the weapon factories that made up the heart of his company until he was abducted by a group of terrorists working with his chief advisor. During the initial abduction he was hit by a grenade and since then he wears a machine in his chest to keep the shrapnel from shredding his heart. He calls this machine ARC reactor. I … Mr. Stark keeps the plans of the ARC a closely guarded secret but from what I understand a part of it was made from palladium which lead to him getting poisoned by the very machine he needs to live. The more critical his situation became, the more erratic his behavior until SHIELD's director Fury finally decided to step in. I was one of the babysitters - keepers - sent to make sure he would actually try and save himself. The second time I met him was while Red Skull invaded earth with Thanos' army at his back.*

Loki blinked. He had known of that invasion attempt - it was part of why he even knew about Thor's doings on earth and the band of human warriors he had allied himself with there - and kept an eye out for Thanos ever since but he hadn't yet connected this with Anthony being there, fighting aliens.

No wonder he had been so scared at first - his experience with aliens had to be quite mixed.

Before he could think about it further Shen added: *But I have observed him from afar and SHIELD has a rather compact study on his character in their archives.*

Loki didn't need to ask how Shen had access to those archives that surely were above the clearance level of an agent under orders to keep a somewhat low profile.

Instead he turned back to the levy, feeling his lips curl into a bitter smile. *So you have a rather good insight into his character.*

Spies were trained to observe and learn and he wouldn't have mentioned the study if he didn't think he had a good handle on who Tony truly was.

Unsurprisingly, Shen nodded. *Yes, my king.*

Breathing out resulted in something like a sigh and Loki could see Shen start to frown, yet before he could ask questions Loki gave Friday the cue to start the projection again.

Anthony appeared next to them, a life-sized projection so real one might think he was truly here with them, and Loki could hear Shen draw a surprised breath. Realizing belatedly that he had been undercover these last months with very limited contact to Jotunheimr he used the seconds before Anthony started to speak to explain: *Tony Stark managed to build a portal between worlds and then stumbled into the Kobol laboratories during a snowstorm. He remained on Jotunheimr under the name Anthony Edwards as part of the palace perhe for these last months, knowing that he would be killed if he tried to escape, yet build another portal and ran anyway.*

Before Shen could react with more than wide eyes Anthony started to speak and Loki felt his heart break again.

"I'm sorry", in a voice so low and hoarse it was hard to understand. "Loki, I ... I promise, I never wanted to deceive you. No, that's wrong." A laugh that burned Loki's throat. "I wanted to deceive you, from the start." Loki had to grit his teeth to keep from making a noise at how much that hurt and closed his eyes to at least not have to see him anymore. Not that it helped when he could still hear the loved-hated voice. "Because that was the only way to be safe. The only way to escape. But I never wanted to hurt you ... never wanted for you to fall in love with me. Never wanted to fall in love with you in turn."

A pause and Loki realized that he'd clenched his fists so much, there was blood starting to form in the indents from his claws.

He knew what came next and that was the only reason he didn't start to make the pathetic noises again he had the first time but it still felt like his chest was cut open and his heart replaced by dark ice.

"I love you, Loki. I love this planet ... and ... I know what you think now, but ... I promise you. Your secrets - Jotunheimr's secrets - they are safe with me. I know you are hurt now and I can understand that you won't believe a word I say now, that you will doubt any word I ever said - but believe this: I will never betray your mercy and your love."

Another pause and Loki knew that he was just standing there, his lovely brown eyes wide open and pained and -

"Good bye, Loki. Forgive me."

Friday stopped the projection before Anthony actually left, meaning the only sound in the lab was Loki's loud, rattling breath.

Or maybe it wasn't so loud, but it felt like it, harsh and painful and just shy of actual sobbing.

He wasn't brave enough to open his eyes just yet and see how Shen was looking at him.

Shen who knew Tony Stark but hadn't known Anthony Edwards. Hadn't seen him integrate so seamlessly with his perhe and the other servants, find friends in the scientists out in the city.

Hadn't seen him flirt and banter with Loki until Loki hadn't been capable of keeping his heart safe anymore, had lost it and his mind to the warm eyes and curious mind and fascinating personality until he couldn't even decide anymore what was true and what act.

He knew what he had to do now. He just wasn't sure whether it was something he was capable of.

*What do you think - is he lying?*

The harsh vowels of his native tongue were a welcome distraction from the softer sounds of the English that Anthony had used.

Shen stayed silent for a moment longer before he asked: *Was there a reason for him to leave _now_?*

Loki almost choked on the bitterness in his throat at how delicately he avoided saying  _escape_ . *Earlier this day prince Thor appeared on the Red Plane to ask whether his  _good friend and comrade-in-arms_ Tony Stark had happened to come to Jotunheimr.*

There was another pause before Shen breathed out and started to explain. *The grenade that damaged Stark's heart - afterwards he was also a captive to a terrorist group that treated him - less than kindly. While I don't doubt that things were different this time around I also got the impression that Stark doesn't do well in captivity at all. He killed his abductors and everyone they had associated with. Later he gave us - the agents supposed to watch him - the slip when we were just appointed to make sure he saved himself and wouldn’t be interrupted. That he left this time without hurting anyone, even apologizing - I read this as him truly being conflicted about leaving.*

Loki closed his eyes; hearing Shen's words only served to make him realize that he had both dreaded and hoped to hear it.

But Shen wasn't finished yet. *Stark forms strong bonds with the people he trusts. Until now I would have said those are Virginia Potts, his former PA - personal assistant - and now CEO, his long-time friend James Rhodes and his driver and bodyguard Happy Hogan. There are also the other Avengers - I don't think he trusts them quite as much yet but they are on the best way to becoming close friends, too, as well as Doctor Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis.*

That got Loki's attention. *Doctor Foster? The astrophysicist?* Because Loki had read about her when he was on earth and if any human mastered inter-realm travel he would have expected it to be her.

Of course, if she had been working on this with Anthony ...

*Yes. She is also apparently Thor's lover.*

Loki blinked, then turned to stare at Shen. *Are you - you aren't kidding.*

*I wish I were.* He rolled his eyes, so obviously _having seen too much_ , then winced. *Erm ... No, my king.*

Loki waved it away. He had wandered enough different realms to know how easy it was to adopt strange speech patterns and mannerisms and then have a hard time getting rid of them again, especially if he was supposed to use them again afterwards to blend in. And humans had a particularly heady mix of them.

*What you are trying to tell me is that Anthony - _Stark_ \- returned for his friends?*

Serious again Shen nodded but added: *I don't think he wanted to leave. I - I don't know what happened here* What a nice why to circumvent saying  _between you_ . *But it clearly pained him to leave yo-here.*

Loki snorted. *Tony Stark is a public figure. Don't try telling me he couldn't fake this.* Loki might be a love-sick fool but not that much. Not when he could feel his own heart splintered within him, sharp edges and hard plains cutting into his chest with every breath, and yet stand here with enough composure that he could see Shen’s doubt in the carefully chosen words and the searching glint of his eyes.

And yet Shen seemed so sure when he shook his head. *Oh, he is good at smiling when he breaks apart inside, and joking even in the face of certain death. But as far as I can tell he cannot act a damn if it's beyond pretending he doesn't care and he is okay.*

Loki didn’t try to hide his doubt and a crooked grin curved Shen’s lips. *I know, it's strange but - Tony Stark may need to pretend that he doesn't care about people hurting him, or that everything is okay while he dies or wants to die, but he never has to pretend that he does care. From what I've seen of and read about him his biggest problem is that he is ... rather tenderhearted. It kills him to see people suffer. That is why he became a hero at all.*

That was ... that was surprisingly pro-Anthony - pro-Stark -, and Loki wanted to curse because it made the hope flicker all the brighter in the dark ice in his chest.

Turning to where the projection of Anthony had been only moments ago he asked: *Do you think he meant it? About keeping our secrets?*

It was unfair to ask of him, Loki knew it as soon as the words left his mouth. A spy was trained to gather knowledge and apply it to gather more, not to decide the fate of a whole race.

That was his burden to bear. His burden, to be shared only with his family and those few he might invite to join his perhe, and even then he was the one ultimately making the decision.

And yet for a moment he felt too weak, too in need of advice, to care.

Shen was even paler when he answered, haltingly and obviously against his better judgement: *I think - but keep in mind that this is my opinion and others may come to a different-*

Abruptly filled with disgust at his own weakness Loki turned away to hide his expression when he said: *I am well aware that this is only your opinion. I just wish to hear your opinion on this matter.*

He might hide his expression by turning his back to the spy, yet his voice still gave him away; tired, too harsh from anger at himself.

Maybe it was this that made Shen hesitate for a moment longer before he answered, or it was the unease still evident in his voice, but he finally obeyed: *I think he means it. I think that as long as we are no threat to him or earth and her inhabitants he won't breath a hint of what he learned.*

Which just made the hope in his chest flicker oh so bright and was really not what Loki needed to hear right now.

Nodding he thanked Shen for his report and asked him to forward SHIELD's assessment on Tony Stark to him.

Then he watched the spy leave through the door before he turned to Jörmundgandr who stood next to it as if he belonged there and hadn't shadowed Shen in.

*What do you think?*, he asked.

Jörmundgandr grimaced. *About Tony Stark? I think you are about to do something very very foolish.*

Going by the inklings of a plan growing in Loki's mind, he was about right.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: No, Loki _will not_ kill Tony. Or send someone to do that (Not sure if I managed to convey that and I don't want to have anyone agonizing over that until I finish and post the Sequel.
> 
> Which brings us to Two: I'm still writing on that. I don't have a time for when I'll be finished though it's definitely not going to be this year. Just so you don't think this is in any way abandoned. Which I won't - I still want to add a Star Trek reference somewhere in it ^^.
> 
> And last but not least Third: Thanx for reading, leaving Kudos and especially to anyone commenting, you always make my day !


End file.
